So I wasn’t originally planning on posting. I’m surprised to be on Tumblr myself. But I just had to come back to feel what it was like back then: when my thoughts were solely on God, when every action had a purpose, when my life felt complete. How did I change? I just did. I became different. Things like that just happen. But I never realized to what extent I had changed, and the path I had diverted to until Precon 2010.
Precon 2010 was held at New Jersey, the state where I had been born. Ironically, it felt as if this conference had brought a new life into me. Just like every precon, I came there expecting nothing spectacular. It’s just another precon I told myself. I was more psyched on doing my best in dance. Usually I would have been excited to meet new people, but I wasn’t in the mood for that now. I had changed. The first half of precon is what I had expected: saying hi to the billions of people from your own state, half-heartedly greeting those who you haven’t seen since past years, them jumping in front of you and squeezing you to death. All you can do is smile, right? I wasn’t that excited. I had better things to do back at home. But deep inside I knew that I missed all of this. I just didn’t want to show it. I wanted to fool myself into thinking that this was not for me. I do not belong here.
I walked in late for the second talk. The video had already started. I recognized this video; it was that same video on my Tumblr, the one that my friend had showed me the last time I had difficulty in my faith, the video that had impacted me so much. From then on I was hooked. The thoughts of my prior faithfulness in God and his many blessings swimmed into my thoughts. I no longer felt alone. Then Kuya Kiko started giving a talk, a talk that I would treasure forever. Each word that flowed out of his mouth struck me like an arrow. It felt like each sentence was perfectly wrapped from God and given to me. His words were exactly what i needed. The answers to my prayers; what i had been looking for. I was no longer lost. To make things even better, he endded his talk with adoration. Oh how I missed adoration so much! His presence, His words, His guidance. I was returned.
All in all, I would say that this was the best precon ever. Despite Delaware’s lack in awards this year, I could not have felt more successful. I had achieved what I had been looking for. No longer was I alone. Many have conflicting views on this year’s precon. Others have called it amazing; others have said it subpar. All it takes to enjoy it is a little open of your heart. You know you miss it. You know you want to return.